Parenting Is Harder Than Anyone Admits

Val Morrison
6 days ago
3 min read

A Compassionate Beginning to a Series on the Real Challenges of Parenting

Parenting is often described as one of life’s most meaningful experiences—and it is. It can also be overwhelming, emotionally exhausting, and surprisingly isolating. Many parents quietly struggle under the pressure of expectations, wondering why they feel so stressed, unsure, or depleted when they’re “supposed” to be enjoying this stage of life.

As a social worker and psychotherapist, I regularly work with parents who are deeply committed to their children yet feel worn down by parenting stress, guilt, and self-doubt. For many, the hardest part isn’t the schedules or routines—it’s the emotional weight: the constant worry, the fear of getting it wrong, and the feeling that they should be coping better than they are.

This post is the first in a series exploring the real challenges of parenting—the parts that often go unspoken or minimized. Rather than offering quick fixes or perfect parenting advice, this series is about validation, reflection, and support.

The Myth of the “Good Parent”

Parents are surrounded by messages about what they should be doing—being patient, calm, consistent, and endlessly available. Social media, parenting books, and even well-meaning advice can create the impression that there’s a “right” way to parent, and that falling short means failure.

In reality, parenting isn’t a performance. It’s a relationship shaped by your child’s temperament, your own experiences, life stressors, and the world around you. Feeling frustrated, uncertain, or emotionally drained doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent—it means you’re human, doing something complex and demanding.

When Parenting Brings Up Your Own Past

One of the least talked-about challenges of parenting is how strongly it can activate our own childhood experiences. Parents are often surprised by the intensity of their reactions to a child’s behaviour or to moments of defiance, rejection, or helplessness.

These reactions aren’t a sign of weakness. They’re often signals that old patterns, unmet needs, or past experiences have been stirred. With awareness and support, these moments can become opportunities for growth rather than sources of shame.

two parents and their children eating a meal together

The Emotional Labour No One Sees

Parenting involves far more than meeting basic needs. There’s constant emotional labour—tracking moods, anticipating needs, regulating your own emotions while helping your child manage theirs, and making endless decisions every day.

Over time, this invisible work can lead to parental burnout, especially when combined with work stress, financial pressure, relationship strain, or limited support. Many parents describe feeling “run down” or emotionally empty, yet believe they should just push through.

Recognizing emotional exhaustion isn’t failure. It’s often the first step toward meaningful support and sustainable change.

You’re Not Meant to Do This Alone

One of the most harmful myths of modern parenting is the idea that parents should manage everything on their own. Parenting was never meant to be a solo role. When support is missing, stress and isolation grow.

Seeking help doesn’t mean you’re incapable—it means you understand that caring for yourself is part of caring for your child.